The Unnamed Protagonist


Yangon, Myanmar, February 20th, 2005. I was hungry yet I was at a party. The party has food but, it's not the type of food you'd expect. The "food" being served was packing peanuts, bolts, and to drink: rubbing alcohol, also known as Isopropyl Alcohol. I was at a summer party. It was being hosted by my local evil church. Now, I go to the evil church because I love hell.

There was a walking beach ball called "Beach Ball Man". He had a goofy voice and was a little clumsy with his movements. What an idiot. There was a volleyball game happening. It looked pretty entertaining. I decided to kick Beach Ball Man over into the crowd and then they played volleyball using him. I couldn't help but laugh, it was a funny prank. The crowd kept hitting and kicking Beach Ball Man.

"What did I do?" said Beach Ball Man.

"You bumped into us you idiot", said the crowd of people.

I saw a high schooler with blonde hair and a light blue uniform. He looks like he'd make a good delinquent. I asked him if he could try and convince the crowd that Beach Ball Man is a bad person and that he should be punished. The highschooler agreed and shouted:

"Hey, that Beach Ball Man is a big sissy! He stole from the church. Give that worm all of your anger!"

The crowd then proceeded to kick and punch Beach Ball Man even harder. I laughed with the high schooler. We shared about bad things we've done in our life and laughed even more. This boy seemed to be just like me, just younger. The high schooler asked me for my name but I couldn't give it, I don't even know my name.

I joined in on the volleyball game. I decided I wanted to break some rules today. Afterall, breaking rules is fun. I kicked the volleyball out of the area, people had to go recover the ball.

"You moron!" yelled the heavyset player.

I called him a moron back and told him to go back to elementary school. He was furious at me after that remark I made. He went over to swing at me when suddenly a giant rat broke through the fence. The rat bit the heavyset player's head off. I laughed at the situation. I then ran away from the giant rat, taking the high schooler with me.

We both snickered in the bushes, as we watched the rat start eating more people. My hunger started getting the best of me. My stomach growled and the rat started coming my way. I wanted to eat the rat so badly. Then Beach Ball Man came from his hiding spot to say hello. That stunt right there just alerted the rat to our location. "Damnit!" I thought. This was the doom of me and my new friend, the high schooler.

With quick thinking, I came up with a plan. I kick Beach Ball Man into the rat's mouth and we make a run for it. Without warning, I kicked Beach Ball Man at the rat. Beach Ball Man popped on the rat's teeth. The rat then started to eat Beach Ball Man. The high schooler and I ran away laughing but also fearing for our life.

After ten minutes of running, we came across a dirty, nasty, green river. There were signs at the river that guided us down the river. Each sign saying "Lullaby Witch!" The signs peaked our interest and we followed the signs. The rat was nowhere in sight which was a relief.

Eventually, we came across a hut of some sorts. It appeared to be the Lullaby Witch's home. We knocked on the door and we heard a raspy voice saying "Come in!".

At the Lullaby Witch's house, we asked why she placed signs leading to her house. She replied with:

"I love meeting new people, and I wish to teach my songs to others."

That cleared up my confusion. We asked if she could teach us any good songs. She sung to us a song of sleep. A song that makes anyone fall asleep if they hear it. She also provided us with a pair of earbuds so we didn't hear it if we sang it.

"Thank you!" Said the high schooler. I said the same thing as we left. The witch had a dear smile on her face as I looked back. We then started traveling down the river again, back to the place where the rat was. I knew I could put the rat to sleep and eat it.

At the party, there was blood everywhere. It was an absolute gruesome mess. The rat then saw us. As it lunged towards us, I sang the sleep lullaby. It put the rat to sleep. I had some taco sauce in my back pocket and there were forks and knives provided at the party.

"Let's dig in", I said. Then the high schooler and I started eating the rat. It was delicious with taco sauce on it.

Published Nov. 7th, 2021