The Unnamed Protagonist


Delhi, India, March 21st, 2009. I haven’t had a dream for days. I was wondering why I wasn’t having any dreams until I realized the name of the amusement park I went to a few days ago. The name of the amusement park was “Ikea Dream Capture Station”. “Ikea Dream Capture Station” is an obviously suspicious name, and I shouldn’t have been an idiot and went there. I think my dreams were stolen by Ikea.

When I was at Ikea Dream Capture Station, I felt like there was an odd magnetic force being cast upon my head. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was but now that I look back, it was my ability to dream being stolen from me. It sucks not being able to dream at all. I have nothing to look forward to when I sleep at night because of my missing dreams.

Deciding to fight the root of the problem, I packed my bags and set forth to Ikea Dream Capture Station. Along the way, I found roadkill scattered across the road. The organs spilled about made the road a little slippery. Nonetheless, I was still able to make it down the road. But now I need gas for my vehicle.

I went to the nearest gas station and tried paying for my gas. There was a mummy as a cashier. I felt like I was being ripped off because toilet paper was added to my charge, but I never set any on the counter. Maybe it was the mummy’s doing. The mummy needed some more toilet paper because the toilet paper it had on looked to be coffee stained and old. I decided to be nice and buy toilet paper for the mummy. I got a lovely smile by the mummy in return.

Leaving the gas station, I pondered where my missing dreams could be. I decided not to think about the location right now and just filled my vehicle with gas. After filling my vehicle with gas, I was good to go. I got back to driving, finding more roadkill on the road. I was still able to drive safely over the roadkill.

Finally reaching the Ikea Dream Capture Station, I set foot out of my vehicle. I looked around and saw many people there, blissfully unaware of the fact that their dreams are being stolen as they stay at the amusement park. “This is very sad”, I thought. I tried telling people that their dreams are being stolen but everyone gave me dirty looks as if they were brainwashed into thinking otherwise.

Navigating my way through the park was difficult, like the way it was last time. I forgot the names and locations of certain attractions, and especially the restroom. I needed to use the restroom so dearly. The amount of urine I had been holding across the road trip was not to be joked about. And I did not want to urinate in front of other vehicles on the side of the road. Eww.

Finally finding the restroom, I relieved myself in one of the stalls. It was nice sitting down to urinate, after hours of travelling. “I’m never doing this again!” I thought. After washing my hands, I left the restroom. “Now where was the staff lounge?” I asked myself.

I walked around the amusement park aimlessly, I had no clue where the staff lounge was at all. I tried asking folk around if they knew where the staff lounge was, but they just kept giving me dirty looks. “Maybe they know I’m onto this business’ horrible business practices.” I thought. What business steals people’s dreams, except for Ikea of course. What a horrible business practice, all it does is harm the customers.

After walking around for a few hours, I noticed I didn’t feel the magnetic pulse that my head was feeling the first time I came here. That means my dreams did get stolen and there’s nothing left to take. A sad fate I fell for. I decided not to think much about my fate and told myself that I’ll continue to search for the staff lounge.

After twenty minutes, I finally found the staff lounge. I should have recognized it earlier. The door was gold and on it said, “Staff Lounge – Dream Capturers”. If the dream capturers are here, that means my dreams must be locked up in there. I couldn’t enter the staff lounge because I had no keys to it. I did find a staff member earlier though.

I decided to stalk the staff member, waiting for the right moment to strike. My plan was to attack, impersonate, and use the keys on the staff lounge door. The staff member saw me and started walking faster, I did so likewise. Then, text appeared above my head. The text read “No-Dream Haver”. As confusing as it sounded, it was true. I had no dreams left.

Everyone turned to look at me, they all gave me dirty looks and started growling. I made a run for my life. I got into my car, started the ignition and drove away. Quickly thinking of a plan, I stopped my car. I needed to focus on one thing, and that is to figure out how to get past the crowd of people chasing me. I then thought of a brilliant idea, and that was to drive through the crowd of people chasing me.

I revved my engine to scare the folk, just to give them a chance. None of the people in the crowd bailed. They were cruising for a bruising. I drove my car through the crowd, none of the people died. I was thankful nobody got hurt from me driving through.

I found the same staff member I was stalking earlier. I ran towards the staff member and punched the dude right on the liver. The staff member fell to the ground in pain, and I took his uniform and keys off him.

“Thanks for the new look! I’ll return this to you later.” I spoke.

The staff member gave a weak thumbs up with the little energy he could muster.

On my way to the staff lounge, more people started chasing me. Luckily, it wasn’t long before I reached the golden door. I unlocked the door and went inside of the staff lounge. There were balloons, cake, and cookies littered about. The staff must have had a party recently.

While traveling through the staff lounge, I saw foliage growing along the walls. “This place must be ancient”, I thought. Traveling further, the walls became made of old cracked stone. Eventually, after a while of travelling, I made it to the final room of the staff lounge.

In the final room, there was a crystal ball full of videos. “This must be all of our dreams!” I said aloud. My voice echoed off the walls of the room. Not knowing what to do with the crystal ball, I placed it on my arms and walked off with it.

I had slipped and the crystal ball full of dreams fell out of my hands. The ball shattered on the floor. I was about to yell in frustration until I saw some of the videos enter my mind. “These are my dreams!” I thought. I remembered all my dreams after having them fly right back into my head.

The crowd of people grew a personality and lost their brainwashed behavior after their dreams came back. They all started cheering for me. I was their savior. If it weren’t for me, the crowd of people would have just slaved their lives away for Ikea.

Then, the big boss of Ikea Dream Capture Station came out of hiding. It was a blue star-shaped pillow with arms.

“What the hell did you just do?!?!?” Yelled the star pillow.

“I freed the people you enslaved, you idiot!” I yelled back.

“That’s it. I’m dropping the bomb.” Said the star pillow.

Everyone started running with a sense of panic. I ran to my car and let everyone hop in the vehicle. Luckily, the type of car I drive is a clown car so it could fit everyone at Ikea Dream Capture Station. I drove as fast as I could, but the explosion radius was expanding faster than my car. Eventually, my vehicle and the radius increase speed hit equilibrium and it was just a matter of endurance at that point.

Eventually, the explosion died down and I was still driving away. I drove back home with everyone, and we had a party. I had to end the party quickly because I was tired from my adventure that day. I then fell asleep and had my dreams back.

Published Nov. 13th, 2021