The Unnamed Protagonist


Rome, Italy, March 29th, 2006. My eyes stung from chlorine. I was at a waterpark called “Dolphin Palace”. The place’s color scheme was pink, blue, and purple. It felt very dreamy. The water was warm, no cold water anywhere. Even the drinking fountains were warm which was disgusting. The Park was encapsulated by a large dark blue box blocking the sky. The Park felt very liminal. There were many people at the park, so it was difficult trying to get on the water slides.

After an hour's wait, I finally got my chance to ride the waterslide. It was an exhilarating experience. Very fast, breakneck speeds. In fact, someone’s neck broke on the ride. Anyways, the ride down was fun. I landed as the warm water enveloped my body. It started getting harder to swim, then I realized the drain was drinking all the water. I tried to swim out, but I got caught in the drain. I was then sucked into the drain.

Inside the sewers, I was able to find my way to a ladder and get back into the park. I don’t know why the drains are left open like that but, they are. After cleaning myself, I went back in line for the water slide. I know I shouldn’t dare the ride again but here I am. I looked around from the high place I was. I got a strange feeling we were all going to be stuck here.

After riding down the waterslide again, the drain situation did not happen again. Thank goodness, I thought. I looked around again and everything seemed normal until I saw the doors disappear. I knew we’d be stuck, but I didn’t test my chances of escaping when I thought so.

So now I’m stuck. And everyone else as well. I saw a group of cultists and wondered what they were doing. I decided to go investigate them and they were chanting words in lorem ipsum. Suddenly, I saw an Ophanim fly out from their cross on the floor. I knew that Ophanim was my ticket out of here. I didn’t want to deal with the chlorine in my eyes anymore.

I grabbed the Ophanim, and it started flying away. Luckily, I was able to hang on. The Ophanim and I flew through the roof to a new heavenly body formed recently. The new heaven must be the creation of a new God. Whenever a new heaven appears, the old ones dry up, start cracking, and eventually disappear forever.

As I landed on the new heaven, my eyes were disgraced by another chlorine-filled water park. I was greeted by our new God. He asked me questions about my narrow escape and what the cultists looked like. I described them as shadowy figures with white robes and a white hood. They had no legs at all and seemed to just float in the air. I also didn’t see any eyes.

After the discussion with God, I thought it was about time to go. My eyes started burning even worse from the chlorine. Suddenly, a group of space pirates came to plunder heaven. I had no choice but to assist the pirates otherwise, I would die. I saw God slain right before my eyes. It was a shocking sight to behold. The gruesome image stuck with me. I was promptly sent to the moon on an airship built by the pirates.

Here I was, stuck on the moon with no way back home. I had no water to pour on my eyes, so I was just sitting there suffering from burning eyes for hours. A porpoise flew over to me and waved. I waved back. The Porpoise spit out another Ophanim, just what I needed!

I was sent back to Earth. Of course, I was brought back to Dolphin Palace because why the heck not. I totally wanted to be back there again. Anyways, everyone was still there and hadn’t noticed the doors disappearing. I couldn’t stand being back at Dolphin Palace, the chlorine was too strong for my eyes. I asked a park staff member if they’d reopen the door and they replied with:

“Look for the divine door.”

Now that I knew how to leave, I just needed to find the divine door. I looked high and low for the divine door. Only then did I find it by using the restroom. The divine door was just the next stall over. Exiting through the divine door was cathartic as I knew I wasn’t stuck anymore.

The divine door led me to what appeared to be a graveyard. There were many doors that lead to dead heavens, including the one where I witnessed a God be slaughtered. In that graveyard was a water fountain.

I finally got to rinse my eyes off the chlorine using the water from the graveyard.

Published Nov. 4th, 2021