The Unnamed Protagonist


Isehara, Japan, March 26th, 2003. I had this book titled “The Future”. The book had a large sapphire on the cover, and it was heavy. However, I could not translate any of the text in the book. Zeus had given me the book, expecting me to know the language but I didn’t. I must consult the Eon Turtle to translate this book. The Eon Turtle is as old as time and knows every language in existence. The perfect translation candidate.

I know the Eon Turtle lives underneath a casino in a jungle. It was just a matter of navigating through the thick jungle. The jungle was like a maze and was very confusing to navigate through. The jungle was surrounded by a military base and water, the water containing aircraft carriers. I’m not allowed to encroach on military territory, but maybe I can sneak through.

I walked out of my house with my pet dog and brother. We walked down the block and were startled by a man with a machete. We tried running but he had a fishing rod and reeled us in. Soon, we were put into the man’s pocket. We could barely breathe, then it got to the point where we blacked out from lack of oxygen.

We woke up in a Lowe’s store. I saw the man who kidnapped us walk away and I tried yelling for him, but I was ignored. Then, the man grumbled about me being an idiot. I started yelling louder but the man ran away. I then chased the man.

After chasing the man for twenty minutes, I got tired. Then, a bucket dropped on my head. I could see the entire earth from the bucket, then, my body went through the walls of the bucket, and I was in outer space. I looked at Earth and I was rapidly approaching it. I was then falling at terminal velocity. The air was burning my skin and I could see the Earth moving towards me so quickly.

I landed on a mountain. I got up and looked around at the horizon and saw the jungle where the casino was located. I tried flying over to the jungle, but I fell hundreds of feet because I grew tired too quickly. Then, the weather started changing to thunder and lightning.

All of a sudden, two snakes coiled around each other, one grey, and one yellow came over to me.

“How would you like your burrito?” the pair of snakes asked me.

“Uh, deep fried?” I replied, uneasily.

The snakes started creating tornados and trying to zap me with lightning. I rolled down the rest of the mountain to escape the pair of snakes trying to attack me. I kept bumping sharp rocks and hitting my back on hard surfaces. The roll down was painful. But I eventually escaped the wrath of the pair of snakes.

I was now at the edge of the water. I decided it would be best for me to swim underwater to avoid detection by the aircraft carriers. I then dived under water, with no gear on me. I only had an hour of oxygen left in my lungs to use while I was swimming.

As I was underwater, I noticed some mines that were chained to the ocean floor. I tried avoiding them, but I accidentally bumped into one and they all detonated. Now my cover is blown. Spotlights shined on me, burning my eyes. I flew away but some of the aircraft started flying after me, targeting me with missiles. I was able to evade being hit by the missiles but then a catapult threw a rock at me, and I went falling into the ocean.

“He’s dead now.” I heard from one of the aircraft carriers.

Thank a god they thought I was dead. I could’ve been easily captured, luckily, I’m strong enough to endure being hit by a rock. As I fell into the water, I played dead to help the narrative that I was dead.

As I sunk in the water, a current brought me over to the shore of the military base. Luckily, there were some military personnel clothing on the beach. I put the military personnel clothing on and walked right through the security. I was then in the jungle.

I traversed the jungle, avoiding dangerous animals, eating exotic fruits, and looking for the casino. I eventually found the casino. There were stairs that led to underneath the casino, I walked down those stairs. I then found the Eon Turtle.

I gave the Eon Turtle my future book, and he started reading the book. The book read:

“Trillions of years ago, there were two gods. Megastar and the Ristar. The Ristar and the Megastar clashed to become the most powerful god, for eons. Then, the Megastar was sealed on planet Ikea. The Megastar has not had any influence since.

Trillions of years later, the Megastar will come back to terrorize gods and their heavens, killing the gods and taking their power. Planet Ikea will become the homebase for the Megastar and its army of Famnig Stjarna troops. The Megastar must be stopped or else the only god left will be the Megastar. A legendary god most do everything in their power to stop the Megastar. Ikeas across numerous planets have been plagued by the evil of the Megastar. It is up to the Ristar and the legendary god’s powers combined to destroy the Megastar. Failure of the mission will result in the Megastar’s victory over every being in the universe, living or dead.

The vector at which the Megastar controls mortals is via the Meta. The Meta is known for its warped blue infinity logo. Any being under the influence of the Meta will have the Meta logo in their eyes and be absentminded. They shall be freed if the Meta in that area is destroyed.

To the legendary god who shall fight the Megastar: The Megastar has already reached Earth and has been exerting its influence over the planet. You may have been to a few Ikeas before. Villainous, huh? You’ll have witnessed the Megastar when you see a black star with a crown. Everything that has happened to you has happened for a reason, my love. Just know the last hero lost to the Megastar horribly.”

“I remember the Megastar. That evil god took my lunch money when I was just a small turtle.” the Eon Turtle said.

“Do you know any information on where Planet Ikea is?” I asked the Eon Turtle.

“Not in the slightest. You should talk to my friend, the snappy seahorse.” The Eon Turtle replied.

Here I am, now with clarification on why my heaven was attacked. I must be ready to fight the Megastar. I shall rally an army of gods and their heaven dwellers. I will win this war.

There was a chocolate on the back of the book. The chocolate’s wrapper read “Enlightenment”. I popped the chocolate in my mouth.

I immediately saw visions of the Megastar and Planet Ikea after I ate the chocolate.

Published Dec. 27th, 2021