LXXI
Nikopol, Ukraine, August 15th, 2008. I was trapped in a giant igloo. The igloo was at least two miles tall, and the exit was out the top. I couldn’t fly out because I didn’t have the endurance to fly that far. There were many towns that sat inside the igloo, all stacked on top of each other. The igloo reminded me of a mall because of how the cities were stacked.
I’m on the bottom layer of the igloo. The temperature was warm despite being trapped in a dome made of ice. I walked around the city, watching as cars drove through the streets, people walked and talked, and pigeons fly. I then walked into a bar.
In the bar, there were space creatures everywhere. No living being there was the same. Some of the space creatures were small, some were large. However, all of the space creatures focused on me right as I walked in.
“What the hell are you doing here?” asked one of the space creatures.
“Oh, I’m just bored and want to be somewhere.” I replied.
“Can’t you read the sign? No humans allowed.” one of the space creatures said.
I was grabbed by security and brought into the kitchen. The kitchen was large, with tons of sharp knives hanging off the walls. There was also a toilet sitting in the middle of the kitchen.
“Sit on that there toilet!” one of the security personnel said.
I then sat on the toilet. I was promptly cuffed to the seat. I couldn’t move at all. Then, a large blue penguin came out of the manager’s office.
“I’m the manager of this here joint.” the manager said.
The manager was the penguin that walked out.
“Why did you decide to break the rules?” asked the manager.
“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t see the sign.” I replied.
“Well. We’re going to put you in this sink.” the manager said.
The manager picked my entire body up and slammed me into the sink. The sink’s water was turned on and I was flushed into the drain of the sink. There was grime covering the pipes and I was disgusted. I vomited on the way down.
I fell into a pumpkin patch full of Ikea workers. I tried running for my life, but they grabbed me and pinned me down. I then saw a Famnig Stjarna pillow with a vaccine. I used my pyrokinesis to burn the pillow and then the vaccine dropped on one of the Ikea workers that was holding me down. The Ikea worker was instantly paralyzed by the vaccine, and I was freed. I then found a pipe sitting out in the middle of nowhere. I decided to jump down the pipe.
I was near the top of the igloo now. I saw helicopters bringing people out of the igloo. I then went over to find where the helicopters were located. I then saw an Ikea. I decided to go destroy the Ikea because they are pure evil. I walked over to the Ikea and was met with Famnig Stjarna pillows. I used my pyrokinesis to burn the pillows to ashes.
I walked inside of the Ikea. There were warped blue infinity logos everywhere. “The Megastar must have claimed this Ikea” I thought. The Ikea was busy with tons of people, but something was wrong with them. Everyone’s movement was slow and staggered. I then looked into their eyes and saw the same warped blue infinity logo. These people had been mind controlled by the Megastar. Suddenly, a pink couch with kissy lips jumped at me, trying to eat me.
I used my pyrokinesis to melt the couch’s leather. The couch stopped right in its tracks and tried hopping backwards, away from my fire. I started running towards the couch, but it kept running from me. Eventually, I was in the back of the store. The couch whistled for the other pink couches to come out of hiding.
I was surrounded by the carnivorous pink couches. They all slowly started inching towards me. I tried flying but then a giant robotic hand slapped me back to the ground. I then figured out what to do. I blasted fire in a ring around me the moment the couches got too close for me to feel comfortable. The couches then burned and melted into pink puddles.
I then ran through the Ikea, setting merchandise ablaze. Eventually, the Ikea was burning down. The warped blue infinity logos left the customer’s eyes and they escaped. I then ran outside of the Ikea and watched as the building collapsed.
“Take that, Megastar!” I exclaimed.
I then walked around the top layer city. I found a McDonald’s with a helicopter pad on top of it. I walked into the McDonald’s and walked up to the top, where I waited for a helicopter. I was then lifted up and out of the igloo by one of the helicopters.
Published Dec. 28th, 2021