The Unnamed Protagonist


Saratov, Russia, October 25th, 2009. I needed to mentally prepare myself for the long battle ahead against the Megastar. I know I must go to planet Ikea with the army of gods I’ve mustered but I’m not ready quite yet. I’m afraid of what the Megastar is capable of. Luckily, I have the Ristar, Zeus, and the god of chugging on my side. To mentally prepare myself, I know I can seek a master of combat for help. The said master of combat I can seek is Sun Tzu, deceased Chinese general. I can bring the general back to life for the time I need him to teach me his ways and help lead our war against the Megastar.

Sun Tzu’s grave was miles away from me, so it was a long journey. I’m able to fly a good distance but not for too long. I decided not to waste my energy flying and just walked. It was very sunny out, so I was sweating profusely while walking. Luckily, I had water with me, so I drank that to avoid dehydration.

A frog leaped on my head and wrapped its tongue around my head. I was blinded and I fell. Soon, I felt my body teleport to another location. The frog was still around my head so I couldn’t see anything. I then blasted the air with fire, but the frog wouldn’t budge. I grabbed the frog off my head and unwrapped its tongue from my head.

I looked around and I was in the snow. There were houses everywhere and I saw a cave in front of me a distance away. I tried knocking on the house doors, but nobody answered. I then kicked down the doors of the houses only to reveal that nobody was staying there. I then walked over to the cave and entered it.

The cave was full of green crystals and green fire. I looked behind me and apparently the frog had been following me since.

“What do you want?” I asked the frog.

“You’ll see.” the frog replied.

I then walked down the cave some more, noticing bones scattered around the place. I then saw tombstones; most were undecorated except for the one at the far back. I then ran over to the far back to investigate why that tombstone was so decorated in particular. I then got up to the tombstone and read.

“Sun Tzu, Chinese General” the tombstone read.

I jumped with joy and thanked the frog.

“You’re welcome buddy, I read your mind.” the frog replied.

“You can read my mind?” I asked.

“I’ve been able to read your mind since you were born.” the frog replied.

“What, really?!?” I exclaimed.

“Nah, I was just joking with you. It was just pure luck that you stumbled upon this place. I was really trying to be mean and then I realized I accidentally took you to Sun Tzu’s grave.” the frog replied.

“Oh, well, thank you.” I replied.

I then used my life force powers to bring Sun Tzu back to life. I watched as the ground next to the tombstone cracked and a hand climbed out of the crack. Then, a frozen body climbed out of the hole and it was Sun Tzu, alive and well.

“Who goes there?” Sun Tzu yelled in a suspicious rage.

“I brought you back to life!” I exclaimed.

“Oh really, prove it.” Sun Tzu said.

I showed him my powers, and then he believed me.

“I need some help.” I asked.

“With what?” Sun Tzu asked.

“There’s an evil god called the Megastar that’s out to kill and take the power of all the gods by eating them. I have assembled an army of gods to attack but I need your help mentally preparing myself for the attack and commanding the army.” I said.

“He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot, will be Victorious.” replied Sun Tzu.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“You know when to fight exactly, when you’re ready that is. You cannot fight right now and you are willing to accept that by seeking help. Very well done.” Sun Tzu replied.

“Oh, thank you.” I replied.

“Here’s another word of advice from me: If you are far from the enemy, make him believe you are near.” Sun Tzu said.

“I guess I’ve already done that. I freed the gods from the Megastar’s heaven and it probably knows I’m near now.” I replied.

“Very well done. How did you go about the assault?” Sun Tzu asked.

“I was with the god of firefighting. I burned the guards while he froze the prison bars making them brittle enough to break.” I replied.

“Good job. He will win who knows how to handle both superior and inferior forces. And you’re seeking help to learn how to handle a superior force. You are on the path to victory.” Sun Tzu replied.

“Thank you I replied. Got any more advice?” I asked Sun Tzu.

“He will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks.” Sun Tzu replied.

“So, I must keep morale high in my army?” I asked.

“Correct. Your army must have spirit.” Sun Tzu replied.

“Well, thank you for everything.” I said.

“You’re welcome.” Sun Tzu replied.

“Will you help me lead my army to victory?” I asked Sun Tzu.

“You seem to be an able leader, yes I will join your army, helping command it.” Sun Tzu replied.

I now have Sun Tzu, the legendary military figure, on my side. My mental state is now serene as I know we can win this war against the Megastar.

Published Dec. 30th, 2021