The Unnamed Protagonist


Accra, Ghana, July 19th, 2002. I need to build the transportation vessel that all of the gods and I will be using to get to planet Ikea to fight the evil Megastar. Sun Tzu, the Chinese general, was with us, and he was preparing to command my army. Sun Tzu also asked if he could command us in building the vessel of transportation, and I let him. We need a vessel of transportation that’s large enough to fit hundreds of gods on it.

“I want all of you to line up! I want to see a square.” Sun Tzu exclaimed.

Everyone then lined up in a square formation.

“You see all of these trees, rocks, and other materials? I want you all to collect them.” Sun Tzu commanded.

All of the gods started scrambling to collect resources. I saw countless trees get cut down and lifted over into a pile. Then I saw rocks get thrown into a large pile as well. As I was looking around at the gods working hard, Sun Tzu said “Hey” to me.

“What do you want?” I asked Sun Tzu.

“I want you to collect the interstellar drive.” Sun Tzu replied.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“It’s a piece of technology that’s a crystal. It will allow us to travel many parsecs at a time.” Sun Tzu replied.

‘Oh, thank you, do you know where it is?” I asked Sun Tzu.

“The deepest chasm on Earth. I bet you’ll be able to access it.” Sun Tzu replied.

“Oh, thank you.” I replied.

I then got on my way to the deepest chasm on earth. I was able to fly right over there. The chasm didn’t look deep, but that’s because there were multiple pathways through the chasm.

Inside the chasm, there were tons of beautiful crystals. I walked through the chasm and found a castle. I then walked into the castle only to fall hundreds of feet. As I was falling, the air started to feel hot. I then bore witness to lava underneath my fall. I quickly flew up in the air as to avoid falling in the lava and dying.

I was in hell. I walked around, avoiding the lava. I then saw a long bridge that led to a large palace. I decided it would be best to walk over to the palace. The palace was guarded by skeletons.

“Just looking for an interstellar drive.” I said.

“Oh! Right this way.” the skeleton guards said.

I walked into the palace. There were skeletons walking around everywhere. The inside of the palace was like a city, as there were many skyscrapers and other buildings, along with roads and sidewalks. I then traversed through the city.

I figured that the city hall is the best place to find the interstellar drive. I then walked into city hall, but I was halted by security there.

“Why are you walking in without permission?” one of the security guards asked.

“I need to get the interstellar drive.” I replied.

“I’ll talk to Hades about it.” replied the security guard.

I then watched as the security guard walked in. I sat there and played with a piece of cardboard I found on the sidewalk. Then, a whole bunch of birds came flying over to steal the cardboard away from me. My only source of entertainment while waiting was taken away from me.

After hours of sitting on the sidewalk, getting dirty looks by the passersby, I saw Hades walk out of the city hall.

“Ah, so you were looking for an interstellar drive?” Hades asked.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I need. May I have it?” I asked Hades.

“Yes, you can, but you must tell me for what reason you need it.” replied Hades.

“I need it to travel to planet Ikea where my army and I can fight the evil Megastar. Would you care to join our army?” I replied.

“Hmm, sure. I don’t like it when something is eviler than me.” Hades replied.

“Oh, good thank you. We can fly back over to the construction site where our vessel of transportation is being built.” I said.

Hades then handed the interstellar drive over to me and we both flew through the chasm.

“How large is the vessel of transportation going to be?” Hades asked.

“Enough to give hundreds of gods room to roam free.” I replied.

“Great. That’s what I like to hear.” Hades replied.

Hades and I then flew out of the chasm and went over to the construction site where our vessel of transportation was being built. I watched Sun Tzu command the army in building the vessel of transportation. Then, Sun Tzu noticed me and hurried over.

“Do you have that interstellar drive I asked for? The vessel is almost complete.” Sun Tzu said.

“Yes, Hades gave it to me. He’s joining our army.” I replied.

“Excellent, you’ll be in good hands.” Sun Tzu said.

I then watched as the interstellar drive was placed on the center of the vessel. And that completes our device of transportation; a beautiful mothership that will take us to planet Ikea.

Published Dec. 30th, 2021