The Unnamed Protagonist


Odawara, Japan, July 9th, 2006. A giant horse stole my hat. I was walking around on the beach when a giant horse ran up to me and grabbed my hat with its mouth. I watched as it smoked a blunt and ran off at the speed of light. I tried flying over to it but to no avail. The horse was simply too fast for me. Luckily, I placed a tracker in my hat, so I know exactly where the horse is. My hat is extremely special because it has god properties that I enhanced it with.

As I watched the horse run, I grabbed my cell phone and watched as the tracker showed me the exact coordinates of my hat. While I was on my cell phone, a crab grabbed my leg and started pinching my ankle hard. I yelled and squished the crab with my foot. Crab guts littered the floor after I stomped.

After an hour of waiting to see where the horse rested itself, I checked my cell phone again. Apparently, my hat was dropped off at “Mountain Freedom”. The ironic part of the name Mountain Freedom was that climbing that mountain is anything but freedom. The climb to Mountain Freedom is extremely dangerous, with many monsters and giant horses ready to kill me up there. But I am forced to get my hat back, so I have to go to Mountain Freedom.

I saw an eyeball angel fly over to me. “I hate you and you should go die” I heard from the angel. I swatted at the air and closed me eyes only to see that I had been swinging in the air for no reason. I then started hearing people talk to me even though nobody was there. I started flipping out because I kept hearing people speak to me.

A police officer came over to ask what the matter was.

“I can’t stop hearing things.” I replied.

“Hearing what? I don’t hear a thing.” the officer replied.

“People talking.” I replied.

Out of anger and frustration, I slapped the officer across the face. I was swiftly cuffed and thrown into the back of the police car.

“Let me go!” I screamed.

“You have the right to remain silent.” the officer replied.

“I need to get to Mountain Freedom!” I shouted.

“Oh, you should’ve said that sooner.” the officer replied.

Suddenly, the police car I was in turned into a submarine and was swimming through the ground.

“Why do we need to be underground?” I asked.

“Because, we don’t like people knowing we help law-breakers.” the officer replied.

“Oh, well, thank you.” I replied.

I was then rode over to Mountain Freedom by the officer. The submarine popped out of the ground and then the officer came over to me and cuffed my legs.

“Wait, what did I do now?” I yelled.

“I was just tricking you. You’re actually going to Mount Freedom’s jail. I guess you can say I did take you to Mountain Freedom.” the officer replied.

I was grabbed by the cuffs and carried over to the jail. I tried breaking free from the officer’s grasp, but he was too strong for me. I then kicked the officer in the legs, and I was tased immediately. The electricity stung my body greatly and my body convulsed a bit.

At the jail, I was treated poorly by the staff. “What have you done? You’re in the right.” I heard in my right ear. I then tried blasting fire at the officers, but a ring was placed around my beck that prevented me from using my powers. They called the ring a power inhibitor.

I was swiftly brought into my jail cell where I would stay for twenty-four hours, I was told. Being in jail only for a day doesn’t seem so bad, unless you’re trapped in a room with an invisible person speaking to you.

“You need to get out of here.” I heard. I tried asking how but I never got a response. I then heard “I love you, I love you, I love you” being chanted in my ears. I was confused at the ordeal to the point where I just wanted to go to sleep. Then I heard “They’ll kill you in your sleep, they will kill you, be omnipresent, you’re in here for every conceivable reason you idiot”. I tried going to sleep but the voices kept me up. I then put my pillow around my ears to shield myself from the voices, but it didn’t work.

“What the hell is happening!” I yelled.

“Nothing is happening.” one of the inmates replied.

I started to try and pull the inhibitor ring off my neck but it was too durable. Here I am, stuck in a jail with my hat still missing.

Published Jan. 4th, 2022